Disclaimers and Legal Stuff

And now for the standard disclaimers, legal nonsense, and everything else:

Tarot is for entertainment purposes only. (Kinda required to state this.)
• If you need legal, medical, financial, psychiatric, or any other advice, seek a proper professional.
• Tarot can give you insight and provide prompts for you to think on, but ultimately it is up to your own free will whether you act on it.
Your data and information is guarded under lock and key.
• I hate spammers and scammers with a passion. Really, I do. I'm not just saying that. Before I settled down with a family, I was going to college and studying to be a cyber cop so I could track down those "Nigerians" and "recently deceased philanthropists handing out inheritances". I joined a few anti-cybercrime groups, one of which was started by the FBI.
• Any info you give me is hidden away in a safe place and I will beat people with a stick if they come after it if they are not you.
• And unless if so requested by a court of law. I'm legally obligated to give them stuff.
Halt!
• You reserve the right to stop a tarot reading at any time you feel necessary regardless of any prior agreement.
• I reserve the right to refuse to do a reading. I will refund you though if you paid me prematurely before we had a chance to discuss what the reading would be about.
Do what I say!
• Good golly, NO! Everybody on this planet was given a mind of their own. Mine is over-worked as is, so I will be encouraging you to use yours and not mine.
• As stated in the Entertainment bullet, Tarot and Tarot readers are here to provide guidance and insight, not create an army of little obedient minions to do our bidding.
• My speciality seems to lie in laying out a situation in small, understandable blocks to help people make the most informed decision they can. I will try to help you make sense of your situation, but it is up to you to decide what to do with it.
I judge you!
• Nah, not really. I don't care if you're a purple squirrel with two wives and a boyfriend. Just be a civil and decent human being and I'll return the favor.
• Although, I am insatiably curious, so if you're from a religion, faith, or philosophy I'm not familiar with I would love to pick your brains if you're feeling chatty.
I curse you!
• No I don't. Be wary of Tarot readers claiming to rid you of curses or give you good luck charms unless they're a proper magick user. And if you believe in curses and witches. Personally I prefer my magic in fantastic displays of sleight-of-hand.
Let's spy on your neighbour~
• Erm, no thank you. I'll do relationship spreads like "what do I do that they like and what do I do that they don't like" and other such things that are focused on you and your actions, but if you think your mate is cheating on you, doing drugs, or whatever, you need to discuss it with them and not me. Your reading is about you, not them.
Hey kiddies, let's--
• Ack, NO! If you're a minor, I'm going to need some proof I have permission from your parent or legal guardian to work with you because Americans have gone completely out of their minds regarding kids these days. And by that I mean I will only read for kids in person with their authority figures standing right there with us. While I am an advocate of "Free Range Parenting", I don't want to risk getting sued because I acknowledged that children exist and can make their own decisions.